


She Lives With Little Fear or Joy

by Divinia_Serit



Series: Mechanical Hearts [2]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: AU- Canon Divergence, Chicago, Coulson and May are BFFs, F/M, Gen, Headcanon, What if Coulson recruited Hill?, Young!Coulson, Young!Hill, Young!May, pre-Hill/Coulson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-14
Updated: 2015-02-09
Packaged: 2018-02-17 10:34:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2306558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Divinia_Serit/pseuds/Divinia_Serit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Story 2 in my Mechanical Hearts series. Based on the premise- 'what if Coulson pulled Hill out of Chicago and recruited her for SHEILD'. Pre-Hill/Coulson. Rated for language.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Curse Is On Her, If She Stay

A/N: This is story 2 in the series Mechanical Hearts. This story title and chapter titles are from the poem 'The Lady of Shalot' by Alfred Lord Tennyson. This takes place at least 20 years earlier than the prologue.

A/N2: So glad everyone enjoyed the prologue. I'm changing a lot here for the purpose of my imagination, but I couldn't find much on Maria Hill's backstory anyway- so I made some stuff up. Decreased the age difference between Hill and Coulson, and based this next section on 'what if Coulson recruited Hill to Shield'.

A/N3: I'm currently on a boat outside the coast of Alaska- yay for a magical service bubble where I can update! I'm technically gone for two more weeks, so not sure how often I'll have service or be able to update. On the plus side- I've had more time to write!

A/N4: I really don't know much about Melinda May or even Coulson really, outside of the Marvel Movies. I have a newly purchased season 1 of Agents of Shield waiting on me when I get home, but please bear with me if these younger versions are too out of character. This little section should be several chapters long!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Agent Phil Coulson stepped away from the peeling green door of the South Side apartment he'd been staying at since arriving in Chicago. Frowning, he brushed a few paint flecks off his suit jacket and seemed to ignore the chill in the late October air while he headed down a few side streets to his favorite corner cafe. He knew he appeared to be a businessman on his way home from a long day at the office, and so he smiled pleasantly at the few passersby with most nary giving him a second glance- just the way he liked it.

The door opened with a small tinkling bell, and he slipped into a booth in the back facing the door. A few slices of pizza and a pot of coffee would do him well before he headed back to the Triskelion. Coulson politely thanked the waitress before bringing the steaming mug to his lips. He took a deep sip and sighed as frustrations from this latest expedition came to mind. It had been a complete and total bust. The two young men he had been sent to evaluate were hopeless and wouldn't even make it through the Academy. Fury wouldn't be happy with his report. He finished his dinner quickly with only the swish of a turning newspaper page to interrupt the silence. He was looking forward to an early night before driving back.

Leaving a generous tip on the table, he slipped out of the restaurant and headed back to the SHIELD-owned townhouse. The sun had already set, and the streetlights had begun to cast shadows on the pavement. The increasing wind foreshadowed the cold winter that would soon hit the city. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a flash of movement and dark hair and attributed it to the thin, brunette girl he had passed in an alley when he first left the restaurant.

They had briefly locked eyes and she had stared back with a stubborn scowl. He was sure she had been digging through the dumpsters possibly looking for things to sell or heaven forbid, waiting on her dealer. She definitely had that look to her. However, it wasn't his problem and he pushed her icy blue eyes from his mind. However, it was late enough now that the streets had emptied out and any sudden movement might be a slight cause for concern. He tensed, ready for a fight, and turned to see three guys chasing after the girl.

"You're dead for this, Hill!" one of them shouted.

Coulson followed a for a few steps, unsure if he should get involved when he saw the brunette change tactics and skid to a stop with a flash of a feral grin. She was a scrappy little fighter, he realized as she took down the first two guys with a knee to the groin and a roundhouse kick, although she had caught her fair share of blows. She was quick, and didn't lose her mind in a fight. She catalogued every move they used against her and applied it to her next tactic. He fought back a grin. Maybe, just maybe. He continued to head towards the small melee when the sound of a gun being cocked made him freeze. The third young man had drawn a weapon and leveled it at the girl. She stared at him defiantly, a thin trickle of blood trailing from a cut on her forehead. Coulson drew his own weapon and made his presence known.

"You might want to rethink that, son," he said as two pairs of eyes flickered to him.

The guy growled, and backed away a few steps, debating if he could take the man in the suit as well as the girl. Realizing the odds weren't in quite his favor, he sneered.

"It isn't over, bitch."

"Fuck off, Johnny," the girl spat back as the would-be assailant disappeared into the darkness.

Coulson holstered his weapon and turned back as the brunette bumped into him as she tried to escape. He grabbed her left wrist and used her own momentum against her pinning her against the wall. They both froze.

"Is this how you like it?" the girl hissed, although she didn't struggle. "Quick fuck against the brick wall?"

Coulson could see her mentally calculating her options, and he smiled.

"I'd just like my wallet back," he said serenely. "Please."

Her face narrowed, and she reached into her jacket pocket with a huff. Dropping the leather square into his outstretched hand, she wrenched her left arm free from his grasp. At that moment, a flash of white and blue reflected down the alley and Coulson heard the girl draw in a sharp breath.

"Everything alright down there?" the officer called out.

Coulson straightened and made a split second decision arranging his face into a pleasant yet concerned expression.

"I was headed home from work when I saw three young men chasing after this young lady. I was concerned for her safety, and they disappeared south towards the river walk when they saw me heading towards them."

The officer nodded thoughtfully, studying the girl with thinly veiled distaste.

"You're lucky you weren't injured yourself, sir. The streets are full of hooligans these days, and cartel activity has picked up again. Next time, call it in and let the professionals handle it."

"Thanks officer," Coulson replied as the other man reluctantly stepped back towards his patrol car.

Coulson watched the cop drive off and was somewhat surprised to see the girl still beside him studying him with a blank expression.

"Why didn't you turn me in?" she said with a raised eyebrow.

"How old are you?" He ignored her question.

"Almost eighteen. How old are you?" she tossed back.

"Twenty Six. Shouldn't you be home?"

"I don't have a home," she simply stated.

He was surprised at her answer, but he didn't show it.

"What did you need my wallet for?"

"Don't be an idiot," she groused. "What do you think?"

He didn't answer, and continued to stare her down. She lifted her chin, and stared back. "I was hungry," she answered after a moment.

"Let me buy you dinner," he responded and she studied him warily. "Just dinner."

She slowly nodded and followed him out of the alley at a slight distance. He headed back to the same diner, and wasn't sure whether she'd actually follow him or not. He wouldn't be surprised if she had bolted, but when he turned his head to hold the door open, she silently stepped through, her stomach rumbling loudly. He ordered two large pizzas with everything on them, and quietly watched as the brunette inhaled the first pizza in its entirety.

He took a few minutes to study her. She was older than he initially realized, and her eyes held the the wizened, bitter look of a child who had experienced far too much. He had been impressed with her scrappy fighting style despite the odds against her, and her ability to think quick on her feet. She was rough around the edges, but there was something about her that had drawn him in, and she definitely had the solid makings to be a good SHIELD agent.

"Are you still in school?" he questioned after she had gulped down a glass of water.

"Graduated early."

"What do you plan to do next?"

"Get out of here. Maybe join the marines."

If she was puzzled about why he didn't ask why she was on the streets, she didn't show it. She sure wasn't volunteering any extra information, and he was pleased with her military answer. That would make his next suggestion much easier. They locked eyes once more, her blue eyes never wavering.

"I have a proposition for you," he started as he slid over his civilian approved business card that listed his occupation simply as 'government agent'. She listened silently. "I'm leaving tomorrow to head back to D.C. You are welcome to join me, and I can get you set up in the Officer Selection School at Quantico. I think you have what it takes to do more than just enlist. After you serve a tour or two, I want you to think about coming to work for my organization which I'm unable to tell you more about due to its classified nature."

"Anyone can print up a fake business card," she said after a moment, and he fought back a smile.

"I'll give you reference numbers and you can even use my phone to check out my offer now."

She held out her hand, and after he wrote out the numbers on a napkin and handed her his phone she headed towards the ladies room. About ten minutes passed before she returned with the same blank expression. She returned his phone, and slid back in the seat across from him. Without another word, she simply raised an eyebrow. Phil smiled warmly at her.

"I'll pick you up outside this cafe tomorrow at 6AM," he said. "If you're not here, I'll assume you changed your mind."

She nodded, and slowly exited the booth heading towards the door.

"What's your name?" he softly called after her.

"Maria," she replied without looking back.

The door closed softly, with no one paying her a second glance. Coulson shook his head, and pulled out his wallet to pay the bill. He chuckled and smiled a rueful smile at his empty billfold. Well, at least she had left him his credit cards.

~~~~

Thirty minutes later, he was back in the safe house with the tv on softly in the background and hoped this trip to Chicago wouldn't be a waste after all. The girl had been hard to read, and he honestly wasn't sure if she'd show up or not. Pulling out his phone, he dialed a number from memory and waited for Melinda to pick up.

"Hey," she said. "How's Chicago?"

"Interesting, Mel. I found a girl-"

"It's about time, cheese," she interrupted and Phil could almost feel her teasing grin.

"Not like that, May," he said with an eye roll. "She was in a back alley fight, but definitely has a lot of talent especially for being untrained. She'll be a good fit for us."

"And let me guess- you want me to dig up whatever I can find on her for purely professional reasons, of course."

"Jeez May, she's only seventeen." Melinda May just chuckled on the other end of the line and muttered something he couldn't quite make out. He sighed heavily.

"What's her name?"

"Maria Hill."

~~~~

Three hours later, his phone rang. Coulson blearily fumbled for it while rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He had fallen asleep on the couch, the tv still softly playing some home shopping network advertisement.

"Coulson."

"Maria Kristina Hill," May started without a greeting. "She'll be eighteen on Halloween. Born to Timothy Charles Hill and Mary Elizabeth O'Connell- typical Irish Catholic family. Her mother died in childbirth, and according to the police reports and hospital records I was able to pull up, life wasn't a picnic for your girl, Cheese. Definitely a highly abusive situation, but she still managed to graduate high school early with honors and lettered in varsity cross country. Minor juvenile record- petty theft, but given her situation, not unsurprising."

Phil felt his throat tighten for this girl he barely knew, and he heard Melinda sigh.

"Be careful with her, Phil," May said softly. "She may not take kindly to your snooping."

~~~~

Five hours later, Phil Coulson was in his trademark suit waiting beside the company car he'd been assigned for the journey. It was 6:08 and he debated on how much longer he should wait. With a deep breath, he rubbed the bridge of his nose, and turned to open the car door.

"You do that when you're frustrated," a calm voice stated.

He turned quickly, and stared at the girl who'd emerged from the side alley. Her hair was pulled back in a high pony tail, oversized sweatshirt falling almost to her knees over her tight jeans. She wore black combat boots, and the only thing she carried beside her was a worn violin case.

"Do what?" he asked as Maria's eyes darted from side to side, taking in every person and every detail around her.

"Rub your nose."

The left side of his mouth quirked upward in a half smile and he ushered her to the passenger side.

"Do you have any bags?" he asked.

"Nope."

He didn't push the question or show any visible reaction to her answer. She carefully placed the instrument case by her feet and leaned back against the seat. He quietly got in and buckled up, freezing when she tossed something towards the dash of the car. Three crumpled ten dollar bills and a handful of change rolled around the small compartment.

"I'll pay you back once I get a job," she stated firmly.

He just smiled.


	2. She Hath No Time to Sport or Play

A/N: Thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far! I'm still in Alaska (for another 10 days) and have poor internet, so I'm using it to post! I hope to catch up with all my review replies when I get home. I love hearing that so many are enjoying this little collection. I'm having fun (and so is my imagination)!

A/N2: Melinda May will be different early on in this story until Bahrain happens. Thank you to the reviewer who pointed out that this should work, since we know she did change. I also like the idea of May, Coulson, and Hill as buddies. I decided to flesh out some of the early days in my imagination, and work my way up. I still plan to focus on Maria, but this chapter is a little more of an interlude. The next few may be too- I'm trying to research military stuff so I don't completely miss the mark!

A/N3: I almost forgot! The inspirational song for the last chapter was 'Come With Me Now' by The Kongos. The Song of the Day for this chapter is 'Cherry Bomb' by The Runaways. Hope y'all enjoy my playlist!

A/n4: Implied Rape and abuse.

* * *

 

**No Time Hath She to Sport and Play**

**Chapter 2**

She didn't mutter a word the first four hours they drove. Instead, she inclined her head towards the window- just pressed her forehead to the glass and simply stared. Phil glanced over occasionally with a worried eye, but Maria didn't seem to even register his attention. It wasn't until they pulled off the interstate and headed towards a drive-thru that she seemed to become aware of her surroundings. She blinked at the menu and turned towards him.

"What do you want to eat?"

Her mouth tightened, and her eyes darted back to the menu.

"Whatever you're having," she responded carefully.

Recognizing her unease at being dependent on someone, but knowing she probably hadn't had anything recently except the pizza from last night, he ordered two bacon, egg, and cheese biscuits, hashbrowns, and coffees for them both. They pulled out of the line, peeling greasy wrappers from the breakfast sandwiches, and munched in silence.

"Thank you."

She spoke so softly, he almost didn't hear her. He shifted his eyes from the road, and met her gaze briefly. He wouldn't say her expression was warm, but something in her eyes had eased now that Illinois was behind them. He took a deep breath. Might as well ruin what little connection he had made.

"I have something to confess," he started, and noted that she immediately tensed. "I called in a background check. It didn't go into details, but it gave me the gist-"

"Pull over."

It wasn't a request.

Something in the back of Phil's mind questioned why he was taking orders from a teenager, but nevertheless, he complied. His hands tightened on the steering wheel, as he guided the vehicle towards the shoulder of the road. He expected her to throw the door open and bolt when the car lurched to a stop, but instead she did the opposite and turned towards him, meeting his eyes head on. Her gaze was piercing, and he caught a glimpse of the commander she'd no doubt be one day. He prayed he hadn't fucked this up.

"My father is the CEO of a large company in Chicago," she paused, almost steeling herself for the words she was about to say. "And a gambling alcoholic."

"Maria, you don't have to-"

"I owe you," she said, her mouth tightening into a frown. "I pay my debts,"she added firmly.

He didn't reply.

"He told me I was responsible for my mother's death, that the devil was inside of me. He was also a firm believer in corporal punishment. He was always careful to never leave a mark that might show, and who would suspect the popular, charismatic businessman when his hellion of a daughter showed up with a broken bone. It got worse when I started fighting back."

She let out a self-depreciating laugh, and he felt his fists tighten.

"He had racked up quite a bit of debt with the wrong people by the time I was nine. Those were the only times I was considered valuable to him," she said, her expression completely blank.

Phil felt the taste of bile rise up in his own throat, and forced himself to remain silent.

"He wasn't aware I was graduating early, until the high school called one day when he had left the office early. I was planning to leave before Christmas, to escape before the holidays and head east. He said I was an ungrateful bitch, and came at me with a letter opener."

Her fingers brushed over the collar of her shirt, pulling it down just enough to reveal a small knot of scarred tissue below her collarbone.

"I had a switchblade," she continued with a tiny gleam in her eyes. "He didn't try to find me after that night."

With that final sentence, she swallowed hard and threw back the rest of her coffee like it was a tumbler of whiskey before returning her gaze to the window once more.

Phil silently flipped his blinker on, and pulled back onto the interstate, lost in thought.

**_shieldshieldshieldshieldshieldshieldshieldshieldshieldshieldshieldshieldshield_ **

They arrived in D.C. later that night no thanks to a backlog of construction, and Phil wasn't quite sure what to do with the brunette. He supposed he could get her a hotel room, or possibly see if she could stay with Melinda for the night. Then he remembered his partner was on a mission, and he hesitated slightly before turning to the girl beside him as he pulled into the gated community where he currently lived.

She was fast asleep.

He swung into a parking spot, and turned back to study his passenger. The lines on her face had smoothed, her face peaceful. She was curled into her oversized sweatshirt with her head resting against the door. Her lashes were long, he noted randomly. Rubbing his face, he unbuckled and gently brushed her shoulder. She jolted awake with a gasp, her lips parted and eyes wide. She blinked hard and refocused, and her face locked down into a blank mask once again.

"I'd be happy to take you to a hotel, if you'd feel more comfortable. We got in later than I expected."

"I'm fine here," she replied.

His brow furrowed as she got out of the car and stretched before reaching in and grabbing the violin he'd forgotten about. She followed him quietly as he led her up the steps to his small town home. He unlocked the door and flicked the light on before gesturing for her to enter. She took one step in and immediately started cataloguing the place he noticed with a small smile. He was relieved he had cleaned up before heading to Chicago.

"I'm going to go get cleaned up," he told Maria. "Make yourself at home."

She nodded, absorbed in the selection of books displayed in the living room. Still feeling a little bit frazzled, he headed upstairs to figure out what he was going to do next. Thirty minutes later, he had changed out of the suit into khakis and a polo after a hot shower. He shuffled down the stairs feeling much more in control, only to stop at the smell of tomato sauce. He slowly headed towards the kitchen.

"I figured we were both hungry again," Maria said with her back to him as she stirred something on the stove.

"I, uh, it smells wonderful! I didn't even know I owned a pot that big...or had food here," his voice trailed off.

"Your pantry is well stocked. It's ready, so help yourself," she replied with the same seriousness she held about her all day.

He just nodded, and helped himself to a big plate of spaghetti.

"Are you sure you're okay staying with a strange man after everything-," he said halfway through their meal.

She gave him the same look she displayed earlier when she thought he was being an idiot.

"I trust you," she simply stated.

He had to work hard to keep from gaping at her.

"Why?" he finally dared to ask.

She stared at him long and hard, and he matched her gaze. After a few moments her lips curved up into the first smile he'd seen from her.

"You blushed when I rubbed up against you in the alley yesterday."

He dropped his head, and fought to keep his entire face from turning red. She took pity on him and carried her plate to the sink, but not before he saw a small mischievous shine in her eyes.

Dear God, he was in trouble.

**_shieldshieldshieldshieldshieldshieldshieldshieldshieldshieldshieldshieldshield_ **

Phil was awakened the next morning by a sharp knock at the front door. He jumped off the couch, leaving a pile of pillows and blankets and opened the door with a yawn. Melinda May looked back at him, unimpressed.

"Jeez Coulson, did you sleep on the couch?"

"Good morning to you too, sunshine," he retorted as she stepped into the foyer.

"You didn't answer your phone. I thought I was going to have to pick the lock."

"Good God May, how much coffee have you had this morning?" he said blinking owlishly at his partner.

"A triple espresso- we got in early," she replied with a shake of her hair.

He shook his head.

"Well, keep it down. Maria's still asleep."

Melinda just raised an eyebrow. Phil threw her a dirty look and headed into the kitchen.

"We got in too late for me to take her over to Quantico. Besides, she's going to need some stuff," he responded after pouring himself a cup of strong coffee.

"So you're voluntarily going shopping?" she asked quizzically.

Phil rolled his eyes.

"What do you suggest, oh wise one?" he said witheringly.

"I'll take her. I have today off anyways.

"As long as she's comfortable with it, fine."

"As long as I'm comfortable with what?" a voice asked from the doorway.

Phil and Melinda turned to look at the girl that was studying them both warily from the doorway. Melinda smiled slightly at the way the brunette was surveying the situation. Coulson was right. Fury would like this one.

"Maria, this is Melinda. We work together. I thought you might like to pick up some stuff before we head to base."

Melinda watched as Phil addressed the girl who continued to stare emotionlessly at both of them. Phil seemed to grasp what was going through Maria's mind and continued to speak.

"If it makes you feel better, you can pay me back later, but you're going to need more than what you brought with you."

Melinda held back a laugh as Maria narrowed her eyes at him, before turning to her.

"When would you like to leave?"

"Whenever you're ready," May said with a small smile as Phil gave them his credit card with a sigh.

**_shieldshieldshieldshieldshieldshieldshieldshieldshieldshieldshield_ **

Melinda dropped her back off a few hours later with a wink towards Phil. He just shook his head slightly, and helped Maria with the numerous bags that had been unloaded. The brunette softly thanked him again, and disappeared upstairs while he made sandwiches. She returned twenty minutes later with two packed duffles that she set by the door. Hesitantly, she headed towards him with the violin case back in her hands. He turned towards her, and noted she was chewing on her bottom lip ever so slightly.

"This," she started and then paused. "I don't think I should take this on base," she said after a moment.

"I'd be happy to keep it here," he said warmly, sensing how hard it was for her to ask for something.

His stomach fluttered when she rewarded him with another small smile, her hand running over the worn case.


	3. A Charmed Web She Weave Alway

A/N: This one's a little shorter but the next one is almost ready (and is longer!). Please excuse any mistakes I make military wise. I've tried to google as much as I can, but I'm sure there's always more to learn.

A/N2: The song for this chapter is O-OH Child by The Five Stairsteps.

A/N3: Thanks again for all your support :) Y'all are awesome! Side note- I think young Phil would be adorable. If only we could all have baby!Phils for friends!

* * *

 

 

Chapter 3: A Charmed Web She Weave

"How's your girl doing, cheese?"

Melinda plopped down in the seat across from him with a small container of Greek yogurt. Phil glared at her as he finished chewing his bran muffin, and sent one last longing glance at the plate of chocolate chip muffins nearby. He ignored her teasing remark and swallowed.

"She starts OCS* in two days. Apparently she's already passed all the aptitude and fitness tests with flying colors."

Melinda nodded and scraped the spoon across the bottom of the container with a thoughtful look on her face.

"Has Fury said anything?"

"He wants to keep apprised of her progress. He's seemed interested, but with that man you never can tell for sure."

Melinda grinned, and the look in her eye made Phil watch her warily.

"Whatcha get her for her birthday?" she asked innocently.

"What makes you think-"

Phil was cut off when she leveled her expression. He sighed.

"Flying lessons. I figured she could get a head start on her pilot's license."

Melinda let out a low whistle.

"Damn Phil. This one did hit ya hard."

"I know a guy," he responded with a shrug. "Besides, I don't think she's ever gotten a birthday present before."

He paused, and the mood dropped.

"And after all we've seen and done, it's nice to make a difference that's acknowledged," May finished seriously.

A shrill beeping interrupted, and Phil glanced at his watch with a groan. They stood up in unison and dropped their trash in the receptacle.

"Another day, another assignment," he said with a sigh.

Before turning the corner, May called out to him.

"Don't worry Coulson; I got her something too."

With a wicked grin, May headed towards her desk, leaving Coulson to slightly fear what his partner had done. He pushed the conversation to the back of his mind and steeled himself to meet with Alexander Pierce and Nick Fury, and strode towards Pierce's office.

**_shieldshieldshieldshieldshieldshieldshieldshield_ **

It had been a long day, and Phil was honestly relieved when he signed his last requisition form for the day. He stacked up the file folders on his desk, grabbed his keys, and headed towards the garage by way of May's desk. She was waiting for him, leather jacket in hand. He smiled wearily, and escorted her towards her car.

"In this traffic, it'll probably take me an hour to get to the base. Let's say we meet at Jerry's in two," Phil said.

Melinda agreed with a nod and was gone. Phil sighed and eased his car out of the garage and into the growing rush hour traffic. When he finally pulled into Quantico, Maria was waiting for him. Her back was against the wall and she stared out into the darkness, her hands crossed against her chest. A few groups of other people milled about as service members brought their families for on base celebrations. He had to smile at the young boy dressed like Captain America. Maria's head lifted when she noticed the headlights, and she turned to the car with an appraising eye before heading towards the passenger door.

"Happy Halloween," Phil greeted with a smile. "I'm glad you were able to get away for a few hours."

"Me too," she said with a faint smile. "So, where are we going?"

Phil shook his head.

"Nope. That's a surprise!"

She rolled her eyes and let out an exaggerated huff. Out of the corner of his eye, Phil saw her hide a smile as she relaxed into the seat. He was sure she was mentally calculating the turns and direction they were heading while probably forming some sort of mental map.

"How do you like Virginia?" he asked as he merged back onto the interstate.

"It's okay," she replied. "I like my jujitsu class. I did make some jarhead mad, though. Apparently, I broke his record on the track."

He smiled, and caught her eye. She looked away, watching the scenery flash by the window.

"You better not be taking me to some stupid Halloween party, Coulson," she said after a moment.

He gasped in mock anger.

"My dastardly plan to make you wear a tiara has been ruined," he retorted stoically.

"A tiara? Seriously?" she said with a raised eyebrow.

He just laughed as they pulled into the parking lot. Maria glanced at the place with a critical eye, and inclined her head ever so slightly.

"You're not a vegetarian are you?" he said with a moment's concern.

"God no," she said as they headed to the door of the steakhouse.

Melinda met them at the door, and Maria's expression softened.

"May," she said in greeting.

"Hill."

They were quickly shown to a table, and Coulson waited until they had ordered before turning to the brunette.

"Happy Birthday," he said as he and Melinda slid cards over to her.

Maria stiffened, her face closing off as her eyes darted between him and May. Nothing betrayed the turmoil she was feeling on the inside as she slowly reached for the first card. She edged her finger under the seal before removing the card slowly. She read the card in its entirety before glancing at May with wide eyes.

"You can't be serious," she said.

Melinda smiled a half smile.

"It needs some work, but it's drivable now. It's been sitting in my garage for the past six months, and I'll be out of town for the next few months on a work assignment."

"The Ducati?" Phil asked with a smirk.

Melinda rolled her eyes at him.

"It's not doing me any good, and she needs something to get around."

"Thank you," Maria replied after a few minutes of stunned silence.

Her hand trembled slightly as she reached for the second card. She read it in silence, and quickly stood other two watched her head towards the bathroom, and Melinda put her hand on Phil's arm when he made a move to follow.

"Give her a few minutes."

Their steaks had just arrived when Maria arrived back at the table. She apologized for her disappearance, her eyes downcast as she started to cut her steak.

"Thank you," she said softly.

She raised her eyes, and Phil caught a shimmer of emotion in her eyes before she regained her composure.

"It's just... I've never.." she stopped, at a loss for words.

"It's fine," Phil said and held her gaze with a smile.

The conversation lightened, and turned to Maria's upcoming courses with Melinda and Phil both weighing in on the pros and cons of various weapons and fighting styles. Hill smiled a few times, but still held herself slightly aloof from the playful banter and easy conversation between the two partners. Another hour passed, and Phil moaned that they needed to head out since tomorrow would be another early day. Melinda placed her hand on Maria's arm in a silent goodbye and a rare form of affection, before downing the rest of her beer with a wave.

"Thanks for dinner, again," Maria said huskily as the two stood up and headed back to the car. "I'm sure there were other ways you could have spent Halloween, so-" she started before Phil cut her off.

"We wanted to take you out," he said gently. "Everyone needs a good steak on their birthday."

She tilted her head as if slightly puzzled, a small frown playing across her features as they both buckled up. He briefly noticed the two cards clenched in her right hand, but wisely didn't say a word.

"May and I are headed out of the country on a work assignment for a few months," he said before starting the car. "You'll have to join us for dinner when we get back in town."

"I'd like that."

They drove quietly, the radio playing a soft classical piece. The drive back to base was littered with glowing jack o'lantern's and children dressed up in colorful costumes while watchful parents stood behind them. He heard a soft sigh, and turned to look at the girl beside him. Her eyes studied the spectacle with an almost wistful appearance before looking down at her lap. The car slowed to a stop, and she looked up at him, any trace of wistfulness long gone.

"There's an extra key to my house in the cup holder for you," he said and motioned to the small silver object. "In case you need a place to go off-base if you're granted liberty or anything."

He didn't mention the violin, but was sure she understood. She reached forward and slowly picked it up, her fingers running over the rough edge before tucking it into her pocket.

"Why are you doing this?" she said after a beat.

His face must have revealed the confusion he felt because she continued speaking.

"You found me on the streets, and I sure as hell am not Cinderella. I'm just a nobody-"

He whirled around in the chair and caught her hand in his own.

"Don't ever say that."

His voice was rough, and despite the faint blush he was starting to feel on his face, he continued.

"There's something about you, MK. I saw it, May's seen it, and others will too. You're going to go far. You have an uncanny knack for reading a situation and devising I'm sure at least three plans for what move to make next. That's a command trait, and it won't surprise me in the least if you're my boss one day."

He could feel the warmth of her hand in his and was surprised when she didn't pull back right away. Her eyes flickered down to their joined hands before moving up his face. Her gaze was sharp, unwavering.

"What did you call me?" she asked quietly.

"Uh," he had to rethink his words for a moment. "MK."

She pursed her lips, and squeezed his hand before slipping hers out of his.

"I like that."

She suddenly leaned forward and brushed her lips against his cheek in a soft kiss.

"Thanks, again," she said before slipping out of the car, two rectangles of paper in her hand.

He swallowed hard. He could still feel the slight tingle where her lips had met his skin. He watched as she disappeared up the stairs and around the corner, and he slowly let out the breath he didn't even know he was holding. He drove home lost in thought, and slightly disappointed for the first time with the thought of a mission. He grabbed a beer from the fridge and stared at the bowl of leftover spaghetti gracing the shelf. Picking up his phone, he dialed with one hand and popped the cap of his drink with the other.

"May? I'm in trouble."

* * *

 

*OCS: Officer Candidate School


	4. But In Her Web She Still Delights

A/N: ***WARNING: This chapter has trigger warnings for 9/11, war zones, explicit violence, and mentions of past rape. WARNING***

A/N2: I didn't want to write too much about Maria's time in the Marines, because I feel like I can't portray what those brave men and women do every day justly. My dad is a Marine and I thank God for the selflessness of our troops. Based on the timeline in my head, if she did serve in the Armed Forces this would be the time period she would have been deployed. The mission and location is something I created for the purpose of this story, and does have fictional SHIELD overtones. Again- creative license- changing the timeline of some SHIELD events to fit my purposes.

A/N3: The song for this chapter is 'Live and Let Die' by Guns & Roses.

A/N4: I wanted to post this soon since I have a feeling I'll be without internet for a few days. I'll be home soon though! Yay!

* * *

**Chapter 4: But In Her Web She Still Delights**

Agent Phil Coulson had been in Russia for several weeks when a transmission from Fury arrived, sending him undercover to build up a file on Russian sleeper agents and the so-called existence of the Red Room. Before he voiced his acceptance- not that he had much of a choice- he asked permission to send word he would be gone longer than he thought to a friend back home. Fury answered positively, albeit cryptically, and Coulson wondered if the man knew about his odd friendship with Hill.

He took the rest of the day to pen a short letter explaining as much as he could about his absence while wishing her luck as she completed OCS and began The Basic School before she'd be deployed. He assumed he'd be back before that happened, but his mission didn't seem to have a time limit imposed. May had been pulled a week before and had been sent to China to follow up on the development of an 084 discovery. He sealed the letter and mailed it, before destroying his phone and going completely off the grid.

**_shieldshieldshieldshieldshieldshieldshieldshield_ **

Maria was silent as the television blared in the background. She couldn't erase the sight of the plane colliding with the tower from her mind. The other occupants of the room spoke in hushed whispers about what this could mean for their company, let alone the country. It was almost a sure bet they would be shipped overseas soon. Maria swallowed, and she fought back a blossoming feeling of relief that her two friends were halfway across the world on a 'business trip' and nowhere near New York. She pushed down the swell of guilt that bloomed after that thought, and bowed her head in a silent prayer for those who lost their lives.

"Lieutenant Hill," a voice called and she snapped her head around towards the sound.

"Yes sir," she quickly answered, walking towards her commanding officer.

"Pack up," Colonel Jackson stated. "We're heading out at 0300."

He dismissed her, and she hurried back to her quarters to get what she needed. A few of the others were also packing, and acknowledged her with a smile.

"Looks like we're headed to Afghanistan, Hill," Meredith Lara said with a toss of her ponytail. "Did you know anyone-"

She paused, studying the stance of Maria's body.

"Nope," Maria answered as she began to throw clothing into her pack. "You?"

"Me neither, but I heard Moody's mother worked at one of the Towers."

Maria grimaced, unsure of how to respond. For a brief moment she was glad she didn't have to worry about family. She pulled unfolded the letter she had received from Phil, and sealed it into one of the small zippered compartments with a sigh. It had been almost a year since she had last heard from him or May, and in that time she had become a commissioned officer in the United States Marine Corp. She found she missed his easygoing smile and the playful banter between him and May. She took it upon herself to visit his house every so often, despite the fact he had arranged for the lawn care and longterm maintenance. Glancing at her watch, she realized she had a few hours left before she was supposed to ship out.

"I'll be back soon, Mere," she said with a wave. "I need to take care of some things before we leave."

After getting the quick okay from her CO, she headed towards the sleek black motorcycle that she'd brought to base. Running a hand over it, she said a quick prayer for the safety of her friends, and sped off in the dark.

She pulled up to the dark house twenty minutes later, and quietly unlocked the door. The darkness was familiar to her now, and she moved about the space easily. She flipped on the small kitchen light and fumbled through a drawer to find a piece of paper and a pen. Making do with the back of an envelope, she thanked Phil for his hospitality and briefly noted she was being deployed in the morning. Last but not least, she included sixty dollars before taping it to a box of spaghetti with a small smile. She gave the rest of the house a quick once over before locking the front door and heading back to base.

**_shieldshieldshieldshieldshieldshieldshieldshieldshield_ **

The air was filled with the thundering blasts of bullets and grenades, but Maria didn't feel her coolness sway. She figured that maybe it had something to do with facing death every day as a child. Why give him the satisfaction of a flinch now? The carrier dropped suddenly, and she heard her CO swear. They were nowhere near the drop zone and a flight failure now would mean instant capture. The pilot righted the plane and swooped lower, using the trees for cover.

They had been in the Middle East for over eight months when her team had received new orders. Their mission was classified and if they were caught, no one would be vouching for them or coming to their rescue. It had come from above- an express wish for data collection in a remote outpost near the Nepali border that could turn the tide of the war. Unfortunately, the only way to get there was to cross some of the most active battle sites still raging.

A deafening roar hit her ears and the plane lurched, before rising up once more. She traded a confident smirk with Captain Meredith Lara, the team's explosive expert. Lieutenant Carter Walsh sat behind her, his face not betraying the whiteness of his knuckles as he gripped his P90 closer. Colonel Richard Jackson surveyed his ragtag team with an expert eye as they neared the border. With a quick hand signal, the team stood and donned their parachutes before jumping into the blackness below.

Jackson led the group quietly, while Maria covered their sixes. The stillness here was eerie, and she wondered for a moment if they had missed the drop point. She couldn't pinpoint it exactly, but something suddenly made her freeze. Jackson noticed his youngest team member's behavior but had learned long ago not to discount Hill's actions. The girl had extraordinary instincts. Her eyes caught his for a split second before she yelled.

"SCATTER."

The team flew apart as machine gun fire ripped apart the clearing they had just vacated. Lara lay beside her, stunned from the impact.

"You and your super freaky spidey senses are at it again," the older woman muttered before drawing her weapon and firing at their unknown assailants.

"I'm a fucking superhero," Maria droned before shifting to a better spot.

She couldn't see Walsh or Jackson, and motioned for Lara to follow her. Meredith deferred to her as the women slowly made their way towards the rendezvous point. A semblance of movement to her left made her draw her weapon only for Walsh to emerge with his hands raised.

"Easy tiger," he muttered as Jackson came into view behind him.

Maria's eyes flickered around, carefully cataloguing every shadow and smell. They continued towards the small outpost, just visible by the light of the moon.

"Hill, you take point," Jackson said softly.

She moved forward, inching towards the building. Instantly she knew something was wrong. She swung her head around right as the sound of tinkling metal reached her ears. She met Lara's gaze right as the older woman leapt on the grenade that had rolled towards them. She counted to two as she ran before a deafening boom lifted her off her feet and propelled her into the side of a tree with a sickening crunch. She fought to keep the blackness from encroaching on her vision, but slowly slipped into the fog despite her best efforts.

**_shieldshieldshieldshieldshieldshieldshieldshieldshield_ **

"You okay, cheese?" May asked quietly.

Phil sat hunched over in the small coffee shop staring into the still full mug. He had been on American soil for the last few months, and had smiled when he found Maria Hill's note on the box of spaghetti. He felt a brief pang when he missed her nineteenth birthday, and hoped she received the care package he and May put together instead.

Last week, he had gotten word that her team was MIA, probably KIA during a classified mission that had SHIELD overtones to it. When he had questioned Fury, the only thing the other man knew what that radio contact could not be established and the team had missed their extraction point.

He answered May with a shrug.

"She'll be fine," May answered resolutely, and she joined him in his silent vigil.

**_shieldshieldshieldshieldshieldshieldshieldshieldshieldshield_ **

As best as she could tell, she had been in the small, dark cell for at least four days. She wasn't entirely sure how long she had been unconscious for after the blast, and she had yet to see another person- friend or foe.

_Definite concussion. Possible fractured ribs on the right side. Dislocated shoulder._

The shoulder she had fixed easily enough- popping it back into place using the frame of the door. The pain had been white hot, but had since faded to a residual ache. Her stomach had started to twist with the gnawing pain of hunger, something she hadn't felt in quite some time. A bottle of water had been left in a corner, and after avoiding it the first two days, she took to carefully rationing the remaining contents.

She had searched the cell for any weak points, and had found a single loose bar. She devoted most of the hours in her day to carefully scratching at the rocky ground around it, leaving her fingers torn and bloodied. Her routine was simple. She slept fitfully, a few hours at a time. After a sip of water, she spent the next two hours doing whatever calisthenics she could manage in the small space, followed by another small sip of water. Then, she dug. The soft step of footfalls made her pause and she scrambled to the middle of the cell. She faced the door, and waited for it to swing open.

His right hand was gone.

She kept her face blank when she faced her CO for the first time. The man could hardly stand on his own, and was supported by two guards. She took a moment to carefully observe their weapons and mannerisms, before turning her attention back to Jackson.

"Walsh?" she asked.

The grimace on his face told her what she needed to know.

His arm was wrapped in blood red cloth, and she knew if she didn't get them out soon, he wouldn't make it. For the next few days, she insisted they take her.

_Black eye. Broken nose. Possible fractured cheekbone._

It was like living at home all over again, she thought with a smile. The smile baffled them, and they stopped for the day. Her CO shook his head when they dumped her back in the cell. She continued to grin.

They threatened her with rape, and unimaginable pain and suffering. She just continued to stare at them blankly.

"Been there, done that," was all she said, without a hint of emotion.

They'd taken a knife to her side then. She kept her mouth shut despite their taunts, and focused on the burning of the knife as it sliced through her skin.

They started on her back next, carefully reopening old scars inch by inch. The floor was splattered with red.

On the tenth day, the bar came loose.

She impaled the first guard with a strength she didn't know she still had in her. Jackson grabbed the gun, and together they made their way out of the compound. It had been mostly emptied, and she was surprised they'd kept them alive as long as they did.

Jackson had developed a fever by that point. He rambled stories of his wife and kids, which only made her more determined to get him home. She was half dragging him two days after they escaped, and the wounds on her back had reopened. A sound from the nearby brush made her pull their lone weapon, a single bullet still in the chamber.

She could have cried at the sight of American troops that had encircled them, gawking.

"Lieutenant Hill. This is Colonel Jackson," she simply stated before passing out.

**_shieldshieldshieldshieldshieldshieldshieldshieldshield_ **

Phil looked up at the sound of approaching footsteps, and was surprised to see Melinda May with a grin on her face.

"Your girl's back," May said happily. "Dragged her CO in with her."

Phil felt a wave of relief at the news.

"She's at the hospital on base, and I've already gotten us an appointment to visit."

He sighed thankfully, and was about to question his partner fully when newly promoted Director Fury entered the break room. He motioned for the two of them to follow and led them to a secure conference room.

"I heard about Hill," he said. "I want her recruited for SHIELD before she has a chance to agree to another tour. You have my permission to read her in if she agrees."

"Yes sir," Phil replied as a file folder of paperwork was shoved into his hands.

"I'm granting you both three weeks of leave," he added. "I have a critical Asset Evaluation mission for you when you get back."

"May I ask where, sir?" May questioned with a raised eyebrow.

"Bahrain."

He nodded at them both and exited the room as quickly as he had entered it.


	5. She Left the Web, She Left the Loom

A/N: This one was harder for me. I'm at a strange place in the story, and I'm thinking about ending this one in another chapter or so to deal with the aftermath of Bahrain, before starting a new one with Maria's beginnings as a SHIELD agent. Is there anything in particular anyone wants covered?

A/N2: Sorry for the delay. I got home and got horribly sick. Worst fever I've had in years! I'm also working on a side Cap/Hill oneshot, so I don't get burnt out on this story! I included a little May/Hill friendship moment in this chapter for the person who wished I had covered May taking Hill shopping in a previous chapter.

A/N3: The song for this chapter is 'Wake Me Up' by Avicii

* * *

**Ch. 5: She Left the Web, She Left the Loom**

Color and light swirled together in a jumbled mess when she cracked open her eyes. Maria blinked hard and tried to make sense of the tightness in her face. The steady beeping of the monitors was incessant and she tried to calm her breathing and slow her heart rate. The last time she had opened her eyes, she was in a medical transport headed back to the United States. The pain had been excruciating, but she heard them say she was stable, and so she gave herself back to the welcoming blackness of her mind. This hospital was different, and judging by appearances, she assumed she was back in Virginia.

Her head felt fuzzy and she tried to swallow despite the swelling surrounding her throat. Her eyes were still swollen, but she could open the right one almost all the way. She shifted experimentally, and winced as the movement against her sheets rubbed the raw wounds on her back. Ok, so not a good idea. She heard the muffled sounds of footsteps in the hall, and shifted her head so she could see the door. It opened slowly, and Melinda May stepped into the room. Phil Coulson was behind her, and both winced when they saw her.

"Damn Hill, I hope the other guy looks worse," Melinda said with an edge.

Phil lightly punched her arm with a frown. He clearly unapproved of his partner's bedside manner.

"Well, I left him with a pole through his midsection, so I think I won," Maria answered hoarsely.

Melinda grinned, and Phil just shook his head.

"How long have I been here?" she rasped, turning her head stiffly as Phil moved closer to her bed.

"You arrived last night, and before you ask, the doctor mentioned keeping you here for observation for at least a few more days to make sure nothing gets infected," he answered.

When she didn't argue, Phil knew she was still hurting.

"Can you get ahold of my CO or his CO or something," she asked after a moment.

Phil frowned slightly.

"I have information they'll want, and I haven't been conscious long enough for a debrief yet."

"I didn't think you were able to retrieve anything," May commented with a thoughtful look.

Maria narrowed her eyes as best she could.

"And you know my mission details, why?"

"It was a joint operation between the organization we work for and the Marines."

Maria hummed noncommittally.

"Get me a map then," she ordered. "We didn't get any written documentation, but they didn't have the sense to take down anything on the walls when they kicked my ass."

Coulson laughed, and May just looked smug.

"On that note, you want in on a secret organization?" Phil asked with a grin.

"Phil you can't ask her like that," Melinda said disapprovingly.

"Officially, we've been sent to recruit you to the Strategic Homeland Intervention Enforcement and Logistics Division or SHIELD."

"Thank god for the acronym," Maria muttered before Melinda continued.

"We're a UN-chartered organization with the primary focus of covert intelligence gathering as well as enforcement."

"What would my role be?" Maria asked.

"You'd start off at the Academy and graduate as an Agent. With your military background, it wouldn't take more than six months. You'd begin as a field agent, and depending on your success rate and stats could stay a field agent, go the logistics route, or work your way up on the leadership side."

"I'll let you in on a secret," Phil said. "You'd probably be shuttled to the leadership side pretty quickly, but field work will help you in command situations."

She was silent, and a thoughtful look crossed her bruised face.

"I'm in," she said after a moment.

"Welcome to SHIELD, Almost Agent Hill," Phil said, his eyes twinkling.

He handed her the papers and a pen.

_Ten Days Later_

Phil Coulson walked up to the front door when the sound of music stopped him in his tracks. He quietly unlocked the door, and shuffled the grocery bags in his hands. He drew in a deep breath, and just listened. It was beautiful. The violin's melody rose and fell, sixteenth notes giving way to a prolonged, mournful melody. As quietly as he could, he put the groceries in the kitchen and stopped in the doorway to the living room.

Maria's eyes were closed as she drew the bow, letting it fly across the instrument. The bruises on her face had faded, but the darkness ringing her still swollen cheekbone stood out. Her face tensed, as if she was pained, and he could see her grip tighten on the violin. Suddenly, her eyes flew open, and she paused as if surprised to see him standing there.

"You're early," she muttered before carefully putting the instrument back in the case.

"You play beautifully, MK," he responded, his expression muddled confusion.

"I auditioned for Juilliard," she added offhandedly, and his eyes widened.

"Why aren't you there?" he asked.

"Do you really see me as a concert violinist?" she droned with a role of her eyes.

He had to smirk at that. She ran a hand over the case one last time, before standing with a sigh. His eyes followed her as she slipped upstairs, and he pushed down the slight feeling of disappointment that clouded the room when she left.

"Shit Coulson, you look like someone smashed your Captain America shrine."

His turned startled, as she bounded down the stairs. He didn't dare mention that he thought she was trying to get away from him. He knew he had been hovering ever since he brought her home from the hospital. She caught his eye, and grinned, her eyes sparkling.

"It's a vintage collection," he said stiffly.

_But dear god, he'd give it away if he could get her to smile like that again._

"Right. Tell me you remembered the ice cream."

He shook his head as she strode into the kitchen. There was some rustling and a few clinking of dishes before she emerged with a bowl of green ice cream covered in chocolate sauce. She set the bowl on the coffee table and sunk down beside him. He briefly registered the stiffness of her movements with a frown.

"Do you need help changing the bandage?" he asked.

She turned to him with an appraising stare, the spoon halfway in her mouth. She initially bristled, but something in his expression made her stop and consider his request. God knows she couldn't do it herself.

"That would be nice," she said after a moment.

"I'll go get fresh gauze and tape," he responded.

She took another bite of ice cream, and carefully pulled her shirt off. She stretched out on the couch, and ignored his slight intake of breath when he came back into the room. She decided to diffuse the situation.

"Hurry up. My ice cream's melting."

Her words had the intended effect, and he rolled his eyes.

"Yes Your Highness," he replied as he carefully peeled up the edges of the tape.

She clutched the pillow to her chest, and inhaled slowly. The heat of his hands contrasted with the coolness of her skin as the air hit her back for the first time in weeks. She winced slightly, and his hands stilled.

"M'fine," she muttered.

He worked efficiently, and soon the fresh bandage was taped in place. She sat up, holding her shirt to her chest, and he diverted his eyes. She pulled it back on, and resumed eating her ice cream. She watched the man beside her out of the corner of her eye. He was deep in thought, the corners of his mouth turned downward. Ever so slightly, she pulled her legs up under her before leaning against his shoulder. He turned to her, surprised by the physical contact. She just ignored him, her eyes fixed on the tv and her mint chocolate ice cream, and he slowly started to relax.

The next morning, Melinda May showed up and told her to get dressed, because she was taking her to get a haircut. Maria looked slightly stunned before disappearing upstairs. Coulson just looked lost. A few minutes later, the brunette returned and with a wave they were off.

"A haircut?" Maria asked again once they were in the car.

"You look like shit."

"Well, fuck."

"And you need to get out of the house."

Maria couldn't argue with that, and the two found themselves in front of a small studio outside of DC. Melinda led the way in, and before she knew it, Maria found herself seated and getting her hair shampooed. She closed her eyes when the woman ran her hands across her scalp, and hummed in appreciation. Damn that felt good. The hairdresser asked for instructions, and Maria told her she didn't care as long as she could still get it into a ponytail. The chopping began, and finished relatively quickly. Looking into the mirror, she had to admit that May was right. The girl didn't change too much, just updated her layers, and took a few inches off, but it made her feel better. Different. Like she was starting over.

"Lunch?" May asked with a nod of approval at her new haircut.

"I could eat," Maria answered.

"You can always eat," May replied with a wry grin.

They soon found themselves in a small hole-in-the-wall Thai restaurant with a plate of egg rolls and Pad Thai in front of them each.

"Where did you meet Phil?" Maria asked after she downed an egg roll.

"Academy," May answered between bites of noodle. "I got in trouble for talking back to an older asshole recruit and Phil stepped in."

"And?" Maria asked with a half grin.

"I punched them both. The instructor said I needed to work on anger management."

Maria raised her glass in approval, and turned her attention back to her food. May studied her with a knowing glance.

"We tried dating once, you know," she added. She hid her smirk at the younger women's feigned lack of interest.

"Oh?"

"We got all the way to the bedroom, and then we both busted out laughing. It would have never worked between us."

"Why do I feel like I'm being interrogated in a roundabout manner?" Maria asked when she raised her head.

May just raised an eyebrow.

"Phil's been great. I mean, he took me in, got me a job, and I'm really comfortable around him. I just... I don't know if I'm ready for anything any time soon."

"Just be careful with him," May said after a slight hesitation. "He's quite attached to you."

Maria just nodded.

**_shieldshieldshieldshieldshieldshieldshieldshieldshieldshieldshieldshieldshield_ **

Three months had passed since she had joined SHIELD. She'd been at the Academy for almost two months, and was set to graduate faster than any other agent in SHIELD history. She didn't mind. Being at the top, especially being a woman at the top of her class, didn't bode well for friendship prospects- not that she cared. She wasn't here to make friends. She took her studies seriously, and fully committed herself to any task or project. She had seen them watching. The tall man with the eye patch whom she knew by word of mouth was Director Fury, and a few other suits. Their eyes followed her, and so she pushed herself harder.

She hadn't heard from Coulson or May in almost six weeks, and she was a little disconcerted. From what they had told her, this should have been a relatively simple mission. They had made plans for her twenty first birthday, baring any future catastrophe, and Halloween was only a week away. So when she saw Phil standing off to the side after one of her sparring sessions, her stomach dropped. She kept her expression schooled, and ignored him.

"Hill," he called with authority. "Can I have a word?"

She grabbed her towel and drained her water bottle before following him towards the small, secure conference room.

"What can I do for you, Agent?" she asked as he shut the door.

"It's Melinda," he said, his voice cracking.

Her eyes widened and she clenched the bottle tighter in her hand.

"Is she-?"

She couldn't bear to finish the question.

He shook his head.

"Sorry, I should have started with that. Physically, we're both in one piece. It's just- This one was bad, MK."

He slid into a chair looking completely defeated. Maria swallowed, and sat down beside him. She carefully took his hand in her own, and waited for him to continue.

"We were evaluating a potential asset, and Melinda went ahead to set the stage for peaceful negotiations and check out a possible meeting location. I remained behind with a small group of SHIELD agents at the base in Bahrain to finish up some research. We were infiltrated, outnumbered, and held hostage. They didn't know about May, and when she returned-" he paused and swallowed. "She took them out, unarmed, and saved us all."

Maria waited. The waver in his voice told her there was more to the story. He pulled his hand from hers and stood, staring blankly at the wall.

"They used children, Maria. Raised them with the full belief in the glory of being a suicide bomber. May had no choice but to eliminate them or we all would have died. I would have died."

He spoke the words as if he was still coming to terms with the situation himself. Maria stood, and silently walked up to him before pulling him in her arms.

"We'll get her back," she said softly. "She just needs some time."

He held on to her tightly, his face buried in her shoulder.


	6. Her wide eyes fix'd on Camelot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I think this story is going to have one more chapter. I'm debating on where to start the next one in the series- possibly budding relationship as she starts her SHIELD career and while Coulson handles Barton. Maybe Madripoor? Suggestions or scenes you'd like to see are welcome!
> 
> A/N2: The song for this chapter is 'As It Seems' by Lily Kershaw. The violin song Maria plays is 'Take Flight' by Lindsey Stirling.

* * *

 

Maria quietly let herself into the house that night after getting approved leave for a family emergency. It was deathly still. She dropped her bag by the door, and silently moved through the dark house. The light over the kitchen sink barely illuminated the room, and she wasn't surprised to find Phil at the table with a bottle of whiskey in front of him. She sighed softly, her eyes filling with concern.

"MK?" he asked softly, his voice rough.

She slowly approached him before resting her hands on his shoulders. Working her fingers, she began to softly knead, and his head fell to his arms with a groan. She worked at the kinks in his shoulders and neck without a word. She swallowed at the intimacy of the act, and pushed that thought down deep. They were just friends. Suddenly, his hand came up to clasp hers and she sat down beside him with a troubled gaze.

"Any word from Melinda?" she queried.

His face tightened.

"She disappeared as soon as we were cleared from medical."

She pursed her lips and tried to recall the conversations she'd had with May in the past. She abruptly stood, the chair scrapping across the kitchen floor. Phil raised his head to look at her through bloodshot eyes.

"I may know where she's gone, but you are going to bed," she said sternly.

Phil didn't fight her as she pulled him to his feet. She led him upstairs, and pushed him to his bedroom. He paused in the doorway, turning towards her. He opened his mouth, and then closed it. He caught her hands in his, and she squeezed back.

"She's seen hell," he whispered.

"Go," she said softly, gently pushing him into the room.

He nodded wearily, and the door clicked shut behind him.

She stood in front of the closed door, her heart beating rapidly. She frowned at the unexpected feeling. Shaking her head, she slipped into her room, and grabbed the violin case from its resting place. Slipping her keys into her leather jacket pocket, she headed down the stairs and into the night. From his bedroom, Phil could faintly hear the sound of the Ducati firing up, and he closed his eyes in silent prayer.

The roads were almost empty, except for a few drivers heading home after a late night out. She weaved in and out of traffic, the signs above directing her towards downtown DC. She parallel parked as close as she could get to the National Mall, and unhooked the instrument case from where it had been strapped to her back. She passed a few late night walkers, but most of the people were in for the night. No one gave her a second glance as she moved swiftly though the night. Picking her way across the moonlit path, she made her way towards the old Carousel near the center of the park. Ducking under the railing, she spotted a small figure sitting alone on one of the horses. Taking a deep breath, she slowly approached.

"I'm not surprised you're the one to find me," Melinda said stoically.

Maria studied her friend, taking in her drawn features and the paleness of her skin. The older woman's normally expressive face was shut down, her eyes steely and her mouth hard. Melinda met her scrutiny with a blank stare.

"I'm not going to offer you cliche platitudes," Maria started. "Coulson told me what happened."

Melinda turned away.

Sliding down to the base of the carousel, Maria set the case down beside her.

"I also understand more than you might think," she added.

Melinda turned towards her with an almost angry air. The two locked stares, both defiant. Melinda blinked, not saying a word. Maria exhaled slowly, and opened the case. Softly, she began to play.

The music crescendoed, and Maria closed her eyes, giving herself over to the feeling of the piece. It ebbed and flowed, and she swayed in time. When the last note rang out, she opened her eyes. Melinda was facing away, but Maria could just see the reflection of a single tear track down May's cheek. It was gone as quickly as it appeared. Without another word, Maria put her instrument away. The time for mourning was done.

"Do what you need to do," she stated, and walked away.

The ride back felt longer, and Maria sighed in weariness. This is what SHIELD did to good agents, she mused. The dark underbelly of the fight to protect a people who had no clue you existed. That was the worst thing about what she saw in Melinda May. The playful light seemed to have evaporated, leaving a bitter, jaded shell. Maria knew what she was getting into, but the reality made her stop and consider just how far in she was going to have to go. She guessed it was a good thing most of the light had been crushed out of her already.

**shieldshieldshieldshieldshieldshieldshieldshieldshieldshieldshieldshield**

Maria was up early the next morning, coffee already percolating. She heard the sound of footsteps on the stairs, and she turned to offer Coulson a steaming mug. He grunted his thanks, and plopped down at the kitchen table. He still looked rough, but the sleep had done him good. She sat beside him, and he turned, his eyes analyzing her.

"She'll be okay eventually," Maria said after a moment. "Different, but okay."

He nodded, his throat locked. She stood, refilling her cup, and downing it just as quickly. He ran a hand through his hair, and exhaled slowly before turning back to her while clearing his throat.

"Thank you," he said earnestly.

She ducked her head, turning back to the coffee pot.

"I have to go," she added, hand curling around the mug.

She thought she saw a flash of disappoint cross his face. She placed the mug in the sink, and turned back to him with a half smile.

"You know where to find me," she said with a slight roll of her eyes.

His lips quirked upward.

**shieldshieldshieldshieldshieldshieldshieldshieldshieldshieldshieldshieldshield**

Graduation day dawned bright and clear, and Maria rolled over with a groan before pulling herself out of bed. It had been two months since Coulson and May had returned from Bahrain, and she knew the older woman had withdrawn from field work. Coulson was stretched between being upset over losing his partner and filled with anxious concern for his friend. She spent what little free time she had at the house, trying to ignore the soft glances he'd shoot her way and the way her stomach dipped at the casual touch of his hand on hers. Without May, he'd elected to work solitarily, and Maria enjoyed the nights he shared stories of the new asset he'd picked up at the Circus of all places. She told herself she wasn't jealous.

She hadn't seen Melinda May since the night at the Carousel. Maria had heard the whispers from the recruits around her. May's actions had been lauded, turning into the stuff of legends. She was the gold standard every agent aspired to, despite none of them knowing the toll it had taken. She felt herself bristle in anger, strangely protective of the woman who had taken her under her wing. Maria spent the few days after the story had spread on kitchen detail after breaking the nose of someone who dared call May 'The Cavalry'. Unfortunately, the nickname stuck. The recruit didn't. She decided May would have approved.

The ceremony was long, and hot. Maria forced herself to stand still despite the trickle of sweat running down her back. Director Nick Fury made an appearance and glowered from the side. She caught his eye briefly, and held it before he dipped his head in a small nod of approval. She turned her attention back to the speaker who was droning on about the good of the country, her expression carefully schooled. Finally, it was over. The recent graduates cheered, but she held herself apart. She finished at the top of her class, and she had heard the names the others called her. It was all so juvenile. She felt as if she were years older, despite being the youngest in their class.

Gradually, the group dispersed and Maria was left alone under the oak tree that had framed the ceremony. The leaves rustled lightly in the breeze, and movement to her right made her stop short. She turned, a brief smile flashing across her face at the sight of the two figures heading towards her. She snapped to attention when May approached first. May's lips quirked in a faint reminder of who she used to be.

"We're both agents now, Hill," she stated.

"Yes ma'am," Maria answered, her expression serious.

"I'll talk to the Director later today, but I plan to take you on as my trainee," May casually stated.

Maria's eyes flickered in confusion. From what she knew, May hadn't taken on a trainee in years, and no one thought she ever would again after Bahrain.

"Thank you, ma'am. I'm honored."

Melinda gave her a small half-smile.

"Report to me tomorrow afternoon," May turned on her heel and started to stride away before Maria's voice made her hesitate.

"It's good to see you, Melinda," she simply said as May continued to walk on.

Phil moved to stand beside her, and they watched May disappear down the sidewalk.

"Congratulations, Agent Hill," he said with a boyish grin.

His smile was contagious, and she smiled back.

"I'm glad to be out of there," she stated.

"You were right about May."

"I'm always right, Phil," she deadpanned.

He shot her a look and she smirked.

"Looks like I'll be around here a little bit longer. I'll start apartment hunting this week, and be out of your hair."

His eyes widened.

"You don't have to," she said, trying to hide his confusion. "Not unless you want to."

She cocked her head to the side.

"What about your new asset?" she questioned.

Understanding dawned in his eyes.

"Maria, you were different," he said softly. "I will never push you out, unless you just need your own space."

He raised his head to meet her gaze, and her expression reminded him of the day they met. Her eyes were sharp and clear. Only the tension in her mouth, let him know she was rolling the thoughts around in her brain.

"Look, MK," he said, the tips of his ears starting to turn red. "I was wondering..."

He paused and she contained her smile at his flustered appearance. She waited for the normally composed senior agent to choose his words. She stiffened slightly, knowing what he was going to ask, and trying to sort out her own feelings.

"Would you like to go to dinner with me, tonight?" he asked.

"Is that wise?" she replied softly.

"Probably not," he added, a mischievous look in his eye.

She bit her lip, and just caught his eyes darkening in response to her action. _What the hell._

"Yes."

He grinned.


	7. God In His Mercy Lend Her Grace

A/N: So I think I'm going to pick up with The Avengers movie timeline in the next section and play into what happens when Hill realizes Coulson's been alive all this time. I may come back to the early years of their relationship in a future section! Meanwhile, enjoy their fluffy first date. I decided I couldn't be too mean to them yet.

Song of the day: 'Kiss You Slow' by Andy Grammer

* * *

 

Maria Hill examined the contents of her closet with a frown. She ran her hand through the line of fabric, glancing briefly at the various outfits she had accumulated. Nothing seemed right. She turned from her closet with an exasperated sigh and strode back towards the bathroom to dry her damp hair. Shaking her head, she tried to understand why she was so worked up about tonight. It was just dinner with Phil. Hell, they had dinner together all the time. It's not like they didn't live together.

" _And if this ends badly you're out a home and a friend_ ," the nagging voice in her head chimed in. She tugged the brush through her hair with a scowl, and met her own ice blue gaze in the mirror.

_But it could also go oh so right._

An image of his strong shoulders relaxing under her hands rose to her mind, and she ground her teeth to keep from poking herself in the eye with the mascara wand. _Fucking hell, Hill- you're not a damned teenager. Have some self control_. She swallowed hard and pushed that train of thought out of her mind. Satisfied with her appearance, she trudged back to the closet in search of a suitable dress.

There was a knock at her door, and she turned in time to see Melinda May stick her head through the door with a disdainful expression.

"I insisted Coulson let me come up since I knew you'd probably being standing around in your underwear," she said as she handed Maria a garment bag.

"I'm glad your intuition is still intact," Maria responded with a snarky edge as she peered into the bag.

"I had a feeling you had nothing you'd want to wear," May replied.

"Are you sure about this?" she said as she held up the red dress.

"Dead sure. Besides, you never struck me as someone who plays it safe," Melinda added with a piercing stare.

Maria just shrugged her shoulders and stepped into the soft fabric that ended just above her knees. It was tight in all the right places, but surprisingly modest given the fact it went up to her neck and had long sleeves. The back of the dress was what sold the whole outfit. It was completely bare. She grunted her approval, and May just rolled her eyes. Her SO had closed back off, and Maria watched her silently head for the door.

"Thanks, Mel," she called out.

May paused, and gave her a short nod before disappearing. Maria stared after her with a thoughtful gaze. The older woman seemed to be doing a little better. She was still closed off around others, but she let her barriers fall slightly around Maria and Coulson.

"I told you you should have given her a day to get herself together," she said bluntly after returning downstairs.

Melinda wanted to laugh at the expression on Phil's face, but settled for a slight twitch of her mouth. Ever since Bahrain, she felt like she'd lost the ability to show any emotion. Maybe that's why she wanted Phil and Maria took work so badly.

"See you tomorrow," she said and gave his shoulder a pat.

"Thanks, Mel," he said warmly, pulling her in for a hug.

She stiffened, and tried to force herself to relax. He released her after a moment, knowing she was uncomfortable. With a slight shake of her hair, she headed out the door. She had a date with the gun range.

Phil sighed as he watched his longtime friend walk out the door.

"She's doing better," a voice said, pulling him from his thoughts.

He turned back towards the stairs, and was unable to stop his eyes from widening as Maria carefully navigated them in her heels. She met his gaze with a slight smirk, and he felt his face turning red.

"For a spy, you have a horrible poker face," she muttered.

"Just around you," his mouth responded before his brain could catch up.

She let out a snort, as he flushed harder.

"Resorting to pick-up lines, Agent Coulson? You do realize I already agreed to a date."

He floundered for a minute, unsure of her teasing lilt. Taking pity on him, she looped her arm around his and pulled him towards the door. When they reached his car, she gave him an amused smile as he opened the door for her.

"Indulge me," he said softly.

She stared up at him through a half lidded gaze, and he fought the urge to kiss her. She quirked her eyebrow in question and he ran his hand softly down her cheek.

"You're stunning, MK," he stated quietly and her eyes softened.

He let his hand fall, and quickly made his way to the driver's side door. She continued to stare at him thoughtfully, but didn't say a word. She fumbled with the radio- scanning stations and listening to snippets of songs before changing the channel again with a frown. He grinned at her when she left it on a classic rock station and ZZ Top's classic guitar melody floated through the speakers.

"La Grange?"

"Just because I play a classical instrument doesn't mean I don't like good rock," she replied.

"You're something else," he said with a shake of his head.

They drove into downtown, and stopped in front of a busy street teaming with well-dressed people. He handed the keys to the valet before escorting her towards a bright building.

"How did you get reservations on such short notice?" she asked incredulously.

"Sometimes that whole secret agent thing has its perks," he whispered into her ear.

She smacked him in the arm.

"Lead on, Coulson. Phil, Coulson."

Eyes instantly drifted towards the statuesque brunette as they were escorted to their table, but she didn't seem to notice or care. Her attention was solely focused on the man in front of her. The evening passed quickly and dinner was delicious. Maria let her eyes blissfully close at the perfectly seared rack of lamb that was melting in her mouth. She always was a meat and potatoes kind of girl.

The corner of her mouth lifted when Coulson ordered the triple layer chocolate cake for them to split. She moaned softly at the taste of the ganache. She couldn't remember the last time she'd eaten a dessert this decadent and delicious. Their forks scraped the plate, and Maria caught his darkening expression when she licked her fork clean with a smirk. He muttered something unintelligible under his breath, and she just smiled sweetly. Much to his surprise, she grabbed his hand while they strode to the exit, and her brow furrowed when he led them away from the parking lot.

"You didn't?!" she practically exclaimed when she realized where they were headed. "Those tickets have been sold out for months."

"I may have bought them pretty far in advance," he paused bashfully. "In hopes that, ya know-"

"Phil, shut up," she interrupted before pressing her lips to his.

To say he was stunned would be an understatement. He was still for a moment before he reached up and cupped her face with his hands. He could fell the warmth of her own hands where they rested on his chest, one fisted ever so slightly around his tie. He pulled back with a groan, his eyes taking in her flushed appearance and slightly swollen lips. A smile played at her lips, and Phil decided right then and there she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. 

"So, umm, Vivaldi?" he asked.

She chuckled and intertwined her hand back in his as they headed towards the symphony hall.


End file.
